do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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