How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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