i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think your dad took our porno
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
