How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
