all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
