We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
we should paint friendship bongs
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
