I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
