My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
