Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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