So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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