I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
