Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
it's like iHOP with fire
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
