I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
