please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
