'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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