Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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