He asked me if I "almost moaned"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
