The maid of honor just puked.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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