Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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