grandma shit on top of the toilet
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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