I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think a kid would responsible me up
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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