Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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