i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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