I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
