just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
