The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We were destined to go to rehab together
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
