Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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