WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
