I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
