I'm laying in your front yard are you home
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
