I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
