I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
