ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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