talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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