Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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