I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
