oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
