I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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