is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Randomize
