So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
