i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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