i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
