I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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