Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
