hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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