i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
