Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
