..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
