I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
