You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
